Today everything seems to be divided and polarized into two extremes. As I've talked about before, society tends to portray masculinity either in the way of the modern “soy boy”, or the uninhibited, unhinged, and vengeance fueled “alpha”. Both are hideous perversions of what it truly means to be a man. Both give us polar opposite views of what masculinity is meant to be. And both couldn't be further from the truth.
It is not just an access of femininity through the aforementioned “soy boys”. We of a more conservative and traditionalist disposition, tend to be bombarded with this distorted view of masculinity and what it means to be a warrior. These views are neither Christian nor inspired by God. We know these views today as the red-pill community. Which in all fairness, have a fair many good points and do get some things right. However they fall short of the mark and are far too often focused heavily on pride. So you're always going to be walking a royal path on all of these issues. Do not fall into the trap of walking the line of true masculinity and falling into either extreme. Whether that be the femininity of the “beta males” or the pride of the “alpha male”. It feels tempting and for good reason. The devil works by making things seem alluring to us. Canvasing a trap in alluring cover. Just like a fish is attracted to the rippling of water, but amongst this chaos a hook is hidden. In this case both extremes hide a hook. The beta male protagonist archetype hides the hook of being run purely by emotion. And on the flip side, the alpha male protagonist archetype hides the hook of being cold and un-empathetic. In this article, we will focus mainly on the broken archetype of the modern alpha male.
“In a time when churches of every description are faced with Vanishing Male Syndrome, men are showing up at Eastern Orthodox churches in numbers that, if not numerically impressive, are proportionately intriguing. This may be the only church which attracts and holds men in numbers equal to women.” - Frederica Mathewes-Green
There's a lot of young men who are finally getting excited about being a man, being a warrior and coming back to what it means to be a man. The issue is that many of these young men are looking at pagan prototypes for guidance. Whether that be Vikings of old or native Indian tribes. This poor young men are being misled down a path lacking balance. Muscularly is not primarily imposing force on somebody else. This is not the primary expression of masculinity. The warrior poet ethos from the likes of John Lovell are a great example of this balance being stricken properly. A good Christian man must be both deadly and compassionate. He must not seek to impose force because that is the mark of a tyrant. He must use his capabilities for the good of those who cannot fend for themselves. This is the Christian male archetype. He must bear his cross and despite all hardships, he must bear this cross up the hill of life and not allow his heart to be tainted despite the bitterness and resentment that can build when hardships and seemingly unfair situations befall him.
What masculinity truly is from the Orthodox Christian perspective, Is long periods of suffering, of sacrifice and of laying down your life for someone else. That is true Orthodox masculinity. We can see this manifest in many of the traditions of Orthodox Christians when it comes to our lent. If one was to follow the Orthodox calendar of with regards to lent. They would be lenting for almost half the year. That is half the year in which we do not receive any animal-based foods. Now if you've been following this substack for any period of time you'll know that I am completely sold on the idea of animal-based nutrition and the benefits we can receive from following such an eating pattern. So with that said, the intense sacrifice of removing this from your diet for half a year every year, is nothing to be scoffed at. The level of malnutrition that one will reach through lenting is indeed high. However, it is not about the nutrition always. It is about to discipline of the mind and faith towards God. It is about the sacrifices that we are willing to make to show our gratitude for the life we have been given. And indeed a glorious life. It is if we choose to pursue it through the lens of true masculinity. The reason I bring up the tradition of Lent is to draw a parallel with that part of masculinity in orthodox Christianity. Those long periods of suffering have a reason and a purpose. The teach us gratitude. We know all too all that we humans learn through repetition but also very easily become accustomed to luxury. There is a comfort crisis in the modern western world and very few people can actually go on living without many of these luxuries. What does the modern archetype of the vengeful Alpha male sacrifice? Nothing. General generally he is not accountable to anyone or anything. He usually is a loner with no family and no faith in a higher power. There is nothing for him to sacrifice for. The true masculine through the lens of orthodox Christianity is a thousand and one small sacrifices throughout our lives.
Another pillar of Orthodox Christian masculinity is responsibility. Responsibility towards others and not just our own self-interests. Whether you are tired or worn out, there is always someone you could do something for. Now this is not to say that shuck your energy all around with no regards for yourself. In doing this you simply become spread thin like a small amount of butter on too much toast and you become useless to those who count on you. But it means that you must make an effort to help those who look up to you. To be of service and to be a shepherd in hard times. It means taking up the mantle and trudging on. When it's boiled down, what it truly means is duty. Duty and sacrifice towards others and towards your faith. For what is a man worth if he is not loyal to these two things. If he is not responsible for these two things.
We must also look at consistency. The ability to be the unwavering rock upon which the angry waves of the sea break and crash. The ability to be the strong pillar upon which a family relies on in the community looks to not only for protection but also for guidance. Compassion and understanding for those more sensitive than yourself, such as women and children. But also a bulwark upon which no maligned foe, dare perch.
“According to the Church, and according to the Bible, being a man is a battle. A man is a saint in the making, and there’s nothing more difficult in this life than actually becoming a saint or raising a saint. There’s nothing more rewarding than being the leader in your home and bringing your wife and children to sainthood along with you.” - Subdeacon Jeremy Conrad
There are several reasons why men gravitate towards the orthodox Church and why it is one of the only, if not the only, church left, in which masculinity is clearly defined and still is celebrated.
The first reason is challenge. When we look at Orthodoxy, we notice that it is "active and not passive." It is currently the only church where the faithful are required to adapt to its traditions and it does not adapt to ours. After being orthodox for a certain amount of time, you realize that there are demands. Purely the physicality of worship alone is a large part of the appeal to men. Weekly and monthly fasts through abstinence from animal-based foods, some of which last 40 days. Or standing for hours on end during service. Performing prostrations and going without food or water before communion. By the time you reach the end of these challenges, You feel as though you’ve faced them head on. Which you have. Orthodoxy appeals to men's desire for self-mastery through discipline.
The second reason is disciplines. The clarity about the content of the challenges that men receive when living an Orthodox life, make it very appealing. The clearly defined rules of engagement make entry into the faith more appealing. Men feel more comfortable when they know what is expected of them. And the faith of Orthodoxy gives a reasonable set of boundaries. When these guidelines and boundaries are very down to earth like they are in the faith of orthodoxy, it is simpler for men to express themselves. Whether it is the prayers, the morning prayers, evening prayers etc, the barrier to entry is lowered and men's reluctance to join is diminished. The order of clear cut timing of prayers and physical actions such as prostrations appeal to men's desire for order.
The third reason is goals. Men enjoy having a goal. This is no revelation. All of the challenges presented in Orthodoxy and with a goal in mind. This is a tantalizing prospect for men and appeals to our innate desire to accomplish things. Orthodoxy preserves and passes down wisdom relating to how we are to progress towards this union or “theosis”. All of the sacraments and spiritual exercises and physical exertion are there for the reason of bringing us into the awareness of the presence of Christ within us and all others.
Another important point is that men are in balance. As we mentioned before, today, there are only two models for men, the so called alpha and the so called beta. The former is abusive, rude and strong. The latter is sensitive, repressed and wimpy. However, an orthodoxy masculinity is held together with the feminine. It is real and down to earth. One priest comments that, “if one spouse is originally more insistent about the family converting to Orthodoxy than the other, "when both spouses are making confessions, over time they both become deepened and neither one is as dominant in the spiritual relationship.””
Lastly, we look at leadership. Men naturally gravitate towards other strong men to be led. Non clergical women do the same things that non clergical men do. However, behind the iconostasis, it is only men. Orthodoxy is the last place in the world that men aren't told that they are evil by simply engaging in what it is to be a man. We can be men without fear of repercussion. Without fear of judgment and without fear of social ostracizing. We are also surrounded by positive role models constantly through the Saints, the icons, and in the daily prayers and hymns about the lives of the saints.
Many people look at Orthodoxy as the most rigid of the churches. Many people use the term “the Marine Corps of churches”. They are not completely wrong through the observations. There is a war being waged within us. It is against self-destructive sin and unseen spiritual powers. Men are yearning to fight a battle but are being misled to believe that this battle is anywhere but within us. Orthodoxy exemplifies Masculinity and embodies that which it means to be a true man.
Welcome weary traveller. The road I take it, was long and fraught with peril. Here you may rest your head. - Project Lazarus